What’s up there you legend

I’ve penned a quick ode

To thank you for scanning

My big QR code

You’ve conquered technology!

What an endeavour

You’re very adept

And skilful and clever

And cunning and sharp

It’s obvious and plain

That you’re ever so shrewd

With a very smart brain

I mean all those compliments

They’re true, I insist!

And I’m definitely not saying that

So you’ll join my mailing list

Look, my mailing list is great

And you’d love it for sure

You could be the first to hear

About my performances on tour

And I only email people

Extremely sporadically

So it won’t feel like spam

In your inbox capacity

But that’s not what this rap is!

It’s to compliment you!

For scanning that QR code

You’re so talented, true!

You’re kind and trustworthy

I’m so pleased you exist

And I’m definitely not saying that

So you’ll join my mailing list

You’re so cool and so awesome

And so gorgeous to glance

You deserve pre-sale access

48 hours in advance

That’s just one thing you deserve

And the number increases

Like updates on my music

And my content releases

Do you want to know about

The world tour that I’m planning?

I mean - you’re so amazing!

And you’re so good at scanning!

You don’t need to go fishing

For compliments, I insist!

And speaking of phishing

You should join my mailing list

Okay fuck it, I lied

I’m dishonest to my fibres

My compliments were purely

To get mailing list subscribers

Because social media’s ephemeral

And its lifespan’s disheartening

But one thing will remain:

Peer-to-peer marketing

So I’m sorry for saying

All those words that were hollow

My heart’s inbox is full

Of regret and of sorrow

I’ll be announcing an apology tour

So my repentance can persist

And if you want to hear about it

You should join my mailing list